Category Archives: This is now

This is now part four 

Becca was sad to leave jim the night they got rengaged. She wished she could stay in this moment. she knew that was not possible.  Soon she would live hear. 

He walked her to her car. They hugged. She got in.he watched her go. He already missed her. He let his feelings return to him. He decided not to repress his feelings any more.  He did care about her. He was glad that they were back together. 

She was so happy as she headed back.she kept staring at her engagement ring. She was very happy.  

She made it back to her town.  She headed to her place. She parked then went inside. She called jim. 

“Hey hunnie. I made it home. ” she told him. “Awsome! I am so glad.  I was woried. Not real woried.  I always get concerned.  ” jim said. “I know.  ” she said. 

“I am glad you made it back.” he told her. “I am so excited. You have no idea. “She said. “I think i have a little idea. ” he said. She chucked.  “Well i wil talk to you later. I love you.” she said .”i love you” he reaplied. 

The next month was extremely buisy for becca lynn. One of her brothers planned on taking over for her. All of the accounting and records had been designed by her. She had to give greg a crash course.  She had a lot to tell greg. 

She would remain on her dads bookstore bored of directors.  The bored was her family. She assured her dad she would stay active in the bookstore behind the scenes. 

She tried to let greg get a feel for runing the store. She basicaly looked over his shoulder. He was in charge. He was doung good.  She felt encouraged by how he was doing. Despite her reluctance to leave the store, she felt that it was realy in good days. 

She was working at her dad’s store,she also worked on getting ready to assume day to day operations of bill’s store. 

She also worked with jim to find an apartment near his church. She emailed him several that were in accordence with her budget and needs. She had a cat so she wanted a cat friendly apartment. he included contact information.

She made arangements to see the se tal apartments.  She had one in mind. She called jim. “I am coming down to check out apartments. Want to hang out after im done?” she asked.  “Yea sounds fun. ” he said. “Great. I am looking forward to it. ” she said.

“It will ne great to see you. I have missed you.” he said. “I have missed you. The two stores have kept me buisy. Soon we will be closer together.” she assured him. “I know. I cant wait. ” he said.”see you then!”she told him. “I love you.” he told her.”i love you.”she said. She hoped he could sense her smiling over the phone.

On Saturday got up fairly early. She made cofee and woke up for a little bit. She liked adventure. She looked froward to this adventure. She had a light breakfast. She put the rest of the cofee in a traval mug. She then headed out. 

She started the car. She headed out. She was excited to find an apartment.she was ready to begin this phase of her life. Things were starting to fall into place. She was glad of that. 

She had hyim music playing on her car cd player. She was excited to get to her destination. She really hoped she woukd find a place today. One less thing to fall into place. She needed this to fall into place. She hoped that it would.  

She made it before she was suposed to view the first apartment. Within a few minutes, the lady arived. “Hello im doris. Are you becca?”she asked.

“I am. It is good to meet you.”she said. “It is a one bed room apartment as i said on the phone.  It is a prety qiet building. ” she said. 

They walked up the stairs. She took out her keys and opened the door. The apartment was small but it was well maintained.  She did not need anything extravagant.  She just really wanted a roof over her head. She would not spend a  lot of time hear. This looked perfect for her needs. This was only her first apartment  checked out. 

She did like this one. “So your moving to thr area?” doris asked. “Yes. I want to be closer to my fiancée.  I have a job lined up. Now just need a place to live. ” she told her. 

“Who is your fiancé.  I tend to know prety much everyone in town.”dorris said. ” jim ball.” she said. “Pastor jim. I go to faith church. I did not realize he was engaged. ” she said. “We are keeping it qiet for now. “She said.

“I promise i wont tell anyone.  I promise. I know he was engaged before he started pastoring hear.  It did not work out i gues. ” dorris remarked. “That was me! We were engaged. We have reconnected.  ” she said. “That s great. ” she said.

After the tour they went back outside. ” i have a few more places i am scheduled to look at but i like this one. ” becca said. ” i am suposed to show it to a few people on monday but if your going to be buying into bill brakets bookstore and your engaged to pastor jim, i would love to have you hear. If you want it its yours. If you decide you want to go with it,call me by tonight.  If i dont hear from you, i will assume you found a different one. ” doris said. “Ok. That sounds like a plan. ” she told her. 

She toured the other apartments.  She liked them but found that she liked the first one. She decided to go with the first one. She called doris. She went to see her and gave her the deposit. She was excited. It was finaly feeling real. This was really happening.  She could not be hapier. 

Jim spent the day working on his sermon.  He did some visitation in the early afternoon.  Then he went home. Then she pulled in. 

He went out to meet her. They hugged. “I got an apartment!  Doris bracey says hi. ” becca said. “Ypur renting from dorris. She is a nice lady. ” he said.

“I am so pysched. It is a great apartment.  Small but perfect for me.  “She said. ” it will be temporary.  ” he said. “Thats how i see it. It will be good. ” becca said. 

They went by the apartment on there way to the park. They had lunch in the park. They chatted for quite a bit. 

The time got closer for her big move. She would start to pack. The next Saturday he drove up to her old apartment and helped her loud her car and his. They moved some stuff there.

He felt weird being back in hagervile. He considered stoping by to see his parents. He decided not to on this trip. She did not move everything but move a lot of stuff. 

The time got closer. They decided to anounce it to the church after she moved. Doris did keep the news qiet.

Her parents were on bored, not everyone in her church was. As news of the re-engagement reached the church, there was mixxed reaction.  To some jim was a periah. His parrents were not sure how to react when they learned about it. They wanted them to get back together but not like this. They wanted him to return to the i.f.b then get engaged again.  That was not how it happened. 

To be continued.

Next up

Becca gets ready to make the big move. Her church reaches out to jim asking him not to go though with this. His dad makes a suprise visit to his office.  

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This is now part three 

Sense becca and jim broke up, she kept buisy runing her dad’s bookstore.she decided that she wanted to move closer to jim and hus church. She decided she wanted to marry him. She lived by proverbs 31. She did some reserch. The owner of a christian bookstore near jim wanted to divest his ownership in the store. She contact him.

She wore a gray shirt,green skirt and flip flops. She arived at the store. She walked in. “Bill! “She said. “You must be becca. ” he said. “Yes. Its good to meet you.. ” she said. 

 “As i said on the phone, i have run this store for 25 years. My son and his family live in Florida.  They have been beging me to move closer to them. I do not want to abandon the store.  I would like to divest but stay part owner. ” bill said. 

He have her a tour. “I have a whole section of bible. While to many christian book store, bibles are an afterthought but not hear. I separate bibles from bible resources.  I looked at your stores website and saw that you only carry king james.we do cary other versons. There is a lot of interest in king james in this area. I dont know if you know pastor jim at faith church but he is a big king James guy. ” bill said. “I know him. I see you have a lot of king james. I like that. ” she replied. 
  “This is our resource section. I screen the books i sell.  I avoid any books that promote text critism,higher or lower. My principle is not to sell anything that questions the veracity of the word of God. ” bill said. “That definitely came though on your website. I appreciate that. ” she said. 

“I avoid reform writers especialy in commentaries.  I do have reform writers in other section.  ” bill said.

They came to the music section. “This could be a sticking point. I see your book store only sell sacred music.  I do sell ccm. I listen to k love and have it playing in the store.  “He said.

“I saw that you sold ccm albums.  I dont to radically change your store. I understand that it has a different culture from faithful bookstore.  I dont intend to turn it to ours.”he said. 

Then they went to his office. “So why the intetest in buying into my store?”bill asked.” well i want to move hear. I would like to be established hear. I see the bookstore as a ministry. I would like to have a ministry hear. ” she said. 

“What bring this desire to move hear?” bill asked. “I would like to be closer to my fiancée.  “She answered.  Jim had no idea that she was hear in town. She ans jim had kept in touch via text and facebook sense her visit.she did not want him to know she was coming . she wanted to surprise him. 

He was in his office when he got a text from her. “Where ate you?” she asked. He texted her back. “In my study at the church. ” he answered. He got another text.  “Look out your window. ” it said. He was confused. He did as she requested. He saw her car. 

He ran out and she hugged her. “What are you doing hear?” jim asked.”i wanted to surprise you. ” becca answered.  “Im definitely surprised.  “Jim replied. She smiled. “A good kind of suprise?” she asked. “Yes. Very good. ” he said.

“I am really glad to see you. ” he told her. He had a big smile on his face when he told her that.  ” want to grab a bite to eat on me?” she asked. “Yes to the first part. As to the seccond i got it. ” he said. “O-k!” she said.

They went to a resturant. “Look jim, i was opposed to breaking off the engagement back then. You needed to sort all this out. You were a bit unstable. You are stable now. You are firmly established in what you believe.  You know who you are. I have changed as well. I have done some maturing at least i believe. I have. Sence the last time i spoke to you i have been praying and reeding scripture and i want to resume our engagement.  I want to be your wife and helper,partner,suport system.i want this.  I am sure of that.  ” she told him. 

Jim was shocked . “bec i am not opposed to resuming our engagement.  In fact i really like the idea. I need you to know that i shaped the church in a way that i felt honored the lord. I left some evenlugical culture in place. I have focused on doctrine ,morals and modesty to the exclusion of orther issues.  Music is one of those issues.  I dont see the need to alter that.  I stil believe dreses or skirts is prefered atire for ladies but i don’t mandate it. ” he said. 

“I assumed that was your policy. I. Not going to change your church.  I want to be tour helper.i know you.i know you put the policies you did after carefull consideration with a lot of prayer. I trust you. I work to work with you not against you. I like  your church, i really do. I want to be a part of it. I believe i have gifts and abilities that can be an aset to the church. ” she said. 

“I can’t believe i am saying this but i really like the worship team. They do a good job. ” jim asmitted. “I gathered that.  ” she said. 

“The isues we faced before still exist.  There is rhe issue of your church and your family and myine. I am sure your parents will object. You could be a periah. ” he said. 

“Do you not want to be with me?you seam to be trying to push me away. “She said. “I just want to make sure that you understand the full ramifications of your decision.  ” he told her. 

“I do jim. I see God’s hand on your life. I see him working in faith bible church. I want to be a part of it. Let me!” she pleaded.

 Jim thought about it. “Faith church is very different. It is nothing like what your used to. It will require a lot of adjustment.  I am not sure you are prepared.  ” he told her.

“I am probably not. Thats ok. I will adjust. I will get though it. ” she said. “I do want to marry you. I have wanted to sense the first time i met you. I have to be certain your certain. ” he said.  “I understand that. I am totally sure. I am as sure as ruth was when she pledged herself to boez. You know how carefull i am when i speak. I do not say it lightly. I have given it a lot of thought. ” she declared.

“I know you dont do things unless your sure . unless you have put a lot of thought into it. I have always lived and appreciated that about you. Not to go all john macarthur on you but i feel i have to make it hard for you to follow.  This decison will affect your entire life. ” he told her.

“I realize that. I never ecpected you to reference john macarthur.  I understand the ramification of this. I am committed to this. I do it hapily!” she said. 

“Are you totally sure? “He asked. “Yes. I am totaly sure. ” she said with a smile on her face. “I am sorry to grill you. There is biblical presidence Joshua final adress. ” he said. 

“I thought that was where you were going with that. Do you want to grill me on my doctrinal stance or can we be engaged again?” she asked. 

He considered her words. He thought about it for a minute. She did not like the awkward silence. She knew that was how he did things. This was how he made decisions.  She would be patcient and would wait for him. 

“Do you want your old engagement ring or a new one?” he asked her.she smiled.  “I would like the old one ” she said. “Ok! I know right where it is. When will you be in town again?  ” he asked. “Well i am curently working on negotiating to buy part of bill braket’s book store. I will be hear frequently.  ” she told him. 

“You want to buy a share of bill’s bookstore?” he asked. “I do. I love runing the store om hagervile. I really want to move hear to be closer to you. I want to get more involved in faith church. I like his bookstore. ” she said. “What would you have done if i had said no? “He asked. “That was not an option.” she told him.

“Next time your in town we will get reengaged officially.  Your my fiancée again.  ” he told her. She smiled. He hugged her. ” i know i can fill in your gaps. I believe i can be a blessing.  ” she told him. 

“I know you will. ” he said. “I am so happy. ” she said. “What will your parents say? Your dad will hate to lose you at the bookstore.  ” he said.  “I know. I hate to leave but i am sure i am called hear.  I am sure of it. I can’t  stay where i am. I mean that figuratively and litetaly. I need to be hear . i need to be with you. ” he said.  “Ok. “He said. 

They walked out hand in hand. They said there goodbyes.  She drove back to hagervile. She had to tell her farther. She had become the head of day to day operations for the store. She would be leaving the store. 

“Dad we need to talk. “She told him.”ok. Pumpkin.  What is it?” her farther asked. “I reconnected with Jim.  He is pastoring a non denominational church in foster. We want to start the engagement.  ” she told him. 

 “Ok. I have always liked jim. I was sad when we left our church and joined the evengelical movement.  I felt that the lord has had his hand on his life. I am glad he is pastoring a church. When the engagement was broken off,  i suspected that it was not foever. I thought you reconnect.  I can suport this. ” he said.

“Thank you daddy but there is more. ” she said. “I knew it. ” he said. “I want to move to be closer to him. I want to be involved in his church. I will need to step away from the bookstore.  I want to buy a steak in a bookatore near the church. ” she said. 

“I gues i knew you would not stay hear foever. I loved working akongside you. I am excited for you and your new adventure. I am going to miss you. ” he said. She hugged her dad.

“I am pleased that you are continuing the book store tradition.  Your not too far away. “He said. “I will visit you and mom as often as i can. ” she said. “You will do fine!” he said. 

After a series of back and forth on the phone becca worked out am agreement to buy a share of the bookstore.  She would drive to foster to conclude the deal. She could begin the groundwork for there life together.  She was excited.she saw the lord at work.

 She drove to foster. She had a good meeting with bill. She worked out an agrement with bill and a time table for her to become general manager of the bookstore. She now had direction. She had a plan. She was pleased with all of this.  Things were comming together in a way she never planed.  

She liked this bookstore.concluding the deal was only part of the reason she came to foster. She got the business side of her trip out of the way. Then she could focus on the orther reason she came to town. 

She met up with him at the resturant. She saw him. “How did it go?” he asked.  “Great.  In a mounth i will oficialy take ovet as managing owner. My dad is sad to see me move but us happy for me. “She said.”congrats. I am happy for you. ” he told her. “Thanks. I am excited as well. It is an exciting new chapter ” she said. 

The dinner went well. Becca wanted him to hury up and reperpose. She wanted to once again ware the engagement ring. She wanted him to get on with it. She wanted to know he was really in this. She knew he had this thing about timing. She tried to be patcient.  She waited for years. She was not up on being patcient.

“Do you want desert? ” she asked. “Not really. ” she said. What she really wanted was for him to perpose again. She did not want to be distracted by disert. “Are you sure?  Thr chese cake is amazing hear. “He said. “Not tonight. “She said. Ok.no desert then. ” he said. She chuckled. 

He took care of the bill.  She got a little agitated. She did not want to say anything.  She wanted him to initiate this. She really hoped that he would not let her drive back to hagervile without getting engaged. She wanted to go home engaged. She waited a little bit longer. 

They walked outside. She almost did not hold her hand but she did not want to be like that. She tried to remain calm. It was not easy. The two neared the car. 

She was about to open the door when he stoped her. “Wait! “He said. She stoped what she was doing. “Yes.” she said. “I know you dissagreed with my breaking off the engagement.  We may never fully agree on this.  I am not sure. I was not as strong in my faith back then. I needed time to figure things out. I believe that i am in a stronger place spiritually.  I believe i am now ready to be married.  Will you marry me?” he asked.

“Yes! Absolutely!  ” she said. She huvged him. She did not want to let go. She just wanted to cling to this moment and to him as long as she could.  “You ok hunnie? ” he asked. “I was afraid that you were not going to perpose again. I am happy you did. I just want to be close to you. ” she told him. “Sory i waited.  ” he said. “Its ok. I am eager to begin our life together and ministry. ” she said.

“I can understand that. ” he said. “I just needed to know you want this as much as i do. ” she said. “Breaking the engagement was gut rencing and awfull. I thought if i left that world i would have to fully leave that world.  It killed me breaking up with you. I did not do it hapily. I just did not want you to see my tears. I thought of you constently. I almost called you a hundred times.  I never stoped loving you. “He told her. 

She hugged him. “You dont know how much i needed to hear that.  Dont take this the wrong way but i kinda wanted you to be miserable. I wanted you to desire us to get back together. I never gave up the hope that we would get maried. Now i understand why. ” she said. ” i am glad we are doing this!” she said. ” me too. ” he said.

To be continued. 
 

This is now part two

“So are you dating anyone?”jim asked.  “No . i am not. ” she said. “You should.  Your an amazing godly women. You will make a great wife. You should be open to finding someone. “He told her.

She had no idea how to respond to all of this.  Why did he say that? Did he have no interest in her? Why was he pushing her to move on? Why did he want her to mary someone else.  She found this disconcerting and frustrating.  She tried to remain calm but she found it dificult to do so. 

“I am at peace.  I trust that the lord will provide a husband at the proper time. I am content. I seeno need to get nervous about it. “She said.

“You will be a great wife!” he said. Why did he keep saying that? She thought to herself. It irked her. She wanted to be his wife. Why was he pushing this?

“Your not seing anyone?” she asked. “I am too buisy. I believe i can date a sister in the church.  It is problematic.” he said.
“You dont regret not marying me? “She asked. “We were heading into different directions.  Two canot walk unless they be agreed.  You would not be happy in this world. I would not be happy in yours. It was not ment to be. “He said. 

“I dont agree. I dont think i ever will. You should have trusted me. You should have given me a chance. ” she said.   

She did not want there reunion to be like this.  She did not want them to fight. She just wanted to be happy with him. Despite her hurt she stik had strong feelings towards him.she still loved him.

He had no idea how to respond to what she said. “You have to admit that we were heading in different directions.  Your patents were have never suported it. It would have been a mess. I did not want to make you chose between your family and me. I still believe in parental oversight of marriage.  I did not want to put you though that.  ” he said.

“When you perposed i said yes. I pledged myself to you. I knew you were unhappy with fundamental bsptist policies and procedures. I knew you might distence yourself from the movement and gospel baptiat church.i committed to go whever you went. You just left. You did not give me a chance.  I did not have a choice. “She said. 

“If i had, would you have gone with me? Would you havel left fundamental baptist and gone to an evengelical church? Would you disappointed everyone at church and at the college?  I was not sure who i was. I had to figure that out. “He said.

“I would have gone with you. I was prepared to fo just that.  I knew it would have been hard. If my parents had withdrawn there suport i would have tried to sit down and talk to them. I still wanted to Mary you. I knew you were not leaving the faith. Im sorry. Im sory i did not want our reunion to be like this. I am so glad to see you. “She said. 

He smiled. “I am so glad to see you.  I missed you. ” he admitted. “I am so glad your pastoring a church. I liked seing you playing a guter. Never thought i would see that.  “She said.

She did not want to leave but it was getting late.  She had a ways to go. She came to see the reunuon not as a accidental occurence but a devine appointment.  “I should be heading back. ” she said.  “It was good to see you bec. Look call me as soon as you get home. I want to know home safely.  “He told her. “I will i promise!”she said. 

She could tell that he did still care.  It warmed her heart. He walked her to her car. “Dont be a stranger. Feel free to come back to the church any time. “He told her. “Thanks i think i will. “She said.he hugged her. He planed for it to be a quick hug but becca was not quite ready to let him go. The embrace continued before they let each other ago. 

“I will see you around. “She said. “Im glad. I want that.” he said. “I do too. “She said. They started to disperse. They went there seperate ways.  That would not be foever.

On her ride home,she kept thinking about jim. Something was stired in her.  Her family and church had encouraged her to date again. They even tried to set her up with someone else.  She recoiled at every turn. As she drove home ,she began to realize why. She still wanted to marry him. She was just not sure how to convince him of that.  Would he want her back?

When she got home, she called home. “Hi. I made It home. ” she told him. “Hey bec. Im so glad. I was woried.i figured that you would be fine but i was still concern. “He told her. “You do still care about me?”she asked. “Always!” he said.  

“Im so glad to hear that. ” she replied. “Seing you today was the hilight of my day. Some things don’t change do they?” he asked.  “No they dont.” she told him. ” it was really good to see you. I missed you.  ” he said. “I am so happy i got to see you. ” she said. 

Becca had a warm feeling about seing him. Something was stired in her. She would not let him go this time. Her feelings for him had not change. Mayby back then was not the right time. She was begining to think now might be.

Did he feel the same way about her that she did about him? He was a different person. Could it work? She felt an urgency about this. She realy wanted to get back together with him. She knew it involved change and sacrifice. What relationship did not. 

During mid week bible sunday pastor jim as he was called, was flooded with questions.  He expected as much. “So who is becca? “Ben asked. “She is an old friend from my fundy days. “He said. “You are just friends?” another asked.  “Well! …”he said.

He was suprised by his church’s interest in her. He kept to business iness. He poored himself in the church. He did not make time for much else. Seing him with her peeked there intetest.

They saw a different jim. He was task orientated.  He was qiet. Around her he was different.  He was relaxed.  The church loved there pastor and he them. They wanted to see him happy. 

When becca got home, she was not at peace.  She had no idea Why this meeting had such an impact. One day she read devotional about how isack found his wife.  She felt stirred. She felt luke God was about timing. He did things in the right time. She felt this was the right time. 

To be continued. 

Next up becca decided to move to the same town as jim. 

“This is now!” 

James ball grew up in the independent fundamental baptist church. His dad was a pastor. He knew becca Lynn most of his life. They went from acquaintance to friends then from friends to close friends.  They started a formal courtship right before they went to bible college.

He had gotten permisson from her farther to formerly purpose marriage.  They planed the wedding, there life and ministry. Then it all changed. 

James grew up very tradional. Some would call him old fashioned.  He was hardly armish. He liked to snowmobiling.  He played video games. He liked cqr racing games but not ones like grand theft auto.  He was opposed to contemporary Christian music. He only listened to the old hyms. He did not own a tv. 

Things changed for him. He became disillusioned with the independent fundamental baptist movement.  He believed in seperation but felt it could sometimes go too far.  There was an incident that broke the canmels back. He was very close with a cousin that attended a non fundimental church. His cousign asked him to be his best man. The church alowed ccm. Whem his colege learned that he did that,they sactioned him. He had to resign his post in student government and as a dorm supervisor.  

He did graduate.  His reputation was somewhat tarnished. He did keep being involved in his farthet’s house. His views were not as strong as they use to be. Despite these strugles,his relationship with becca remained strong. 

Becca’s grandparents were missionaries to the philipines. Her farther was a deacon and Sunday school teacher.  He also owned an old fashioned Christian bookstore that only caried sacred music,king james bibles ans refused to cary any books asociated with reformed theology. 

Becca was a few younger then jim. She had always admired jim. Even qt a young she could tell that he was serious about his faith.  His faith continued to grow. Her admiration for him also grew. No one was suprised when they did date. 

When they made there relationship official, they did it with the expectation that they would be maried. The church also had the expectations as well. She got excited for wedding preparations.  

She had gone with him to the wedding of his cousign. Both knew coming in that it would not be an i.v.b ceremony or reception. She knew he was very brothered by the school sactioned him. That incident made him questoned everything.  He tried to shield her from that. 

She was commited to separation and to the i.v.b. he was afraid to engage her on all this. She tried to talk to him about it. Everytime she tried to engage him,he froze up. He eventually decided to leave his father’s church and severed all ties with the i.f.b. he did not feel that he could drag her into this. 

He decided to break off the engagement with becca. She was devastated.  The local church and area i.f.b were in an uprour. There had been presure on her to break it off. Her family put pressure on her as well. She tried to talk him out of it. He would not budge.  After the breakup they went there seperate ways.

Jim started attending the same church as hie cousign.  They starrted a setilite church to there home church. Eventualy the church asked him to become there pastor. 

Becca took over day to day operations of the book store. She was active in her church. She became a chior director.  She was kept buisy. There was potential suters but she refused there entities.  Her parents tried to get her to move on.she went on one date. She regreted it. 

Her parents were concerned.  They realy wanted her to move on from jim. She could not. She secretly hoped that she would one day get back with him. 

One day becca was driving back from a confrence. She wanted to find a church to atend on her way back. She found faith church.she parked the car. 

She went inside and sat down. A young women came over to her. “Hello welcome to faith church. ” she said. She gave her a welcone pakege. Becca thanked her.

Becca noticed that while everyone dressed casualy,they were dresed modesty and neat. The service began.she saw the last person she expexted to see. It was jim. He wore a butoned down shirt . he wore jeens. She had lost touch with him.

“I would like to welcome you to faith church. To our visitors,i would like to give you a special welcome. Im pastor jim. We are a unique church.  I hope you will enjoy your time hear. I hope the lord will speak to you though what goes on hear . ” he said. 

He made announcements and gave an opening prayer.  The worship team came up to the podium. Jim played the guitar.  She chuckled. The music was ccm. 

Jim preached.  She did not realize how much she missed his preaching.his preaching style didnot change.she missed his preaching. She missed his booming voice.  His doctrine did not seam to change.  She missed him. He stil put buterfiles in her stomich.

After the service she tried to see him. There were a lot of people there. It was hard to get to him. She realy wanted to see him. She really did not want to leave hear without seing him.he was talking to people whenhe saw her. 

He was shocked. “Will you excuse me?” he asked. He went off to see her.”becca?” he asked. “Hi jim.excuse me pastor jim. “She said. He hugged her. “What are you doing hear?” he asked.

“I was on my way home back from faithful women’s confrence and was looking for a church to attend. “She said. “It is good to see you. “He said. “Your the pastor?”she asked. “Yes. Marcus and i founded this church as an off schoot of grace church. Marcus moved on to start new churches. I was voted pastor. ” he said. “I enjoyed your surmon. It brought back memories. ” she told him.

“My preaching style realy has not changed sence my time at gospel baptist church. I stil preach from the king james. ” he said. “I see that. “She said. ” we are not a kjv pnly church. I only use the king James. ” he said. “I am very glad to hear that.” she told him. 

“Reports of my becoming a liberal have been greatly exaggerated. ” he said. “I never thought that you became a liberal. “She said. “You didn’t? ” he asked. ” i know you better then that. Jim. Pastor jim.i know your heart. I know where your conviction were.  ” she said. “I am glad of that. I feared you would think ill Of me. ” he told her. “Not at all. You are serving the lord. I am glad of that. ” she said. 

“Look i know i have some driving to do.care to go out for cofee? We can chat a bit. I would love to catch up. ” he said.  “I would love that. “She said.

“I can’t believe your hear?” he remarked. “I cant believe im talking to you. I missed you. ” she told him. “I can only imagine what your perents would say if they knew you had gone to faith church or that you had seen me” he said. “How are things between you ans your perents? ” she asked. “We are stil close. I talk to them almost every week. We dont about church. They dont see my pastorate as legitimate.  I think in there eyes i back slid. This is worse then joning a biker gang.” he said. 

“You have not realy changed doctrinaly.”she said. “No i realy have not. I believe in a form of seperation. I have not abandoned my core principles. ” he told her. “I see you are the same you i have always known.”she said.  “Thank you.  That meens alot. I would hate if if you thought i was a liberal. ” he said. “I see evidence to the contrary.  You have my suport. ” she said. “I am pleased to hear that bec. I take my walk with the lird seriously.  ” he told her. “I know that. I have never thought otherwise. ” she said.

“I am glad to hear that. I imagine that many at gospel baptist church feel differently.  “He said.”you have ylur detractors. I have never been one of them. ” she said.”i am glad to hear that. ” he said.

“Why did you break off the engagement?  “She asked.  “Bec you are the epitome of the i.f.b. you would not have followed me to evangelicalism.  If you did you would not have been happy.  I figured we would end up breaking up Eventualy.  Why dalay the inevetible! ” he said.

“Our breakup was not inevetible.  I commited yourself to you when you perposed. I knew you were having doubts. You never gave me a chance. You should have trusted me. ” she told him. 

“I figured you would not have wanted to go with me. You are prety traditional.  I did not want to back yoy into a corner. Your parents would have never alowed it. I cant believe you would have agreed to go with me. You would not have been happy in my world. ” he told her.

“I believed i was called to marry you. I had reason to believe that you were called to be my husband.  I emotionally invested in our mariege. I wanted to be maried to you.  I was prepared to go with you. ” she said. 

“I could not have put you in a situation where you had to chose between me and your parents.  That would be unfair. “He said.

“In trying to protect me,you put me in a worse situation.  You abandoned me. I wanted to marry you. ” she said “she thought to herself, i stil do but decided not to say it out loud. “I understand your position.  It was not going to work out. I was not going back to gbc or tje i.vb. you belonged in that world.”he told her.  

“I knew once you left you would never be coning back. I was ok with that.  You should have given me a  chance.  ” she said. 

As they talked, a group of younger people came over to them.”pastor i dont usually see you hear on a sunday night?” he said. “No ben i usualy dont come hear on Sunday night. “He said. “Who is this? “Kevin asked.  “This is becca. ” he said.

“I take it your old friends? ” ben asked.  “You could say that. ” jim answered. “I had no idea you knew ladies existed. ” kevin saidm”i take it your not curently romantically involved with anyone right now? “She asked. ” no he has notm ” ben said.

Becca was glad to hear that.  She never fully gave up on the relationship.  She was glad he had not dated someone else. After a while the church people left.

“So are you dating anyone? ” he  asked. “No i am not. ” she said. “You should.  Your an amazing godly women.  You will make a great wife.  You should be open to finding someone” she said.

She had no idea how to respond to that. Why did he say that? Did he have no interest in her? Why was he pushing her away? Why he want her to be happy with someone else. She found it discouraging and frustrating.  She tried to remain calm. 

To be continued.